MARRIAGE / SEX / DATING

When it comes to sex, most married Christians just do what works for them. If they have been blessed enough to have discovered something that brings satisfaction, pleasure, closeness, and climax, they most likely will continue that practice.

What the Bible Says About Marriage & Sex!

SEX, GOD & MARRIAGE BY J. C. ARNONLD here

In The Beginning
In the Image of God
It Is Not Good for Man to Be Alone
The First Sin
Restoring the Image of God
Sexuality and the Sensuous Sphere
The Pure in Heart

What God Has Joined Together
Marriage in the Holy Spirit
The Mystery of Marriage
The Sacredness of Sex
Parenthood and the Gift of Children
The Purity of Childhood
For Those Considering Marriage
The Service of Singleness

The Spirit of Our Age
With or Without God
Shameful Even to Mention?
The Hidden War
What about Divorce and Remarriage?
Therefore Let Us Keep Watch

SEX, GOD, & MARRIAGE BY J. C. ARNONLD here

SEX, GOD, & MARRIAGE STUDY GUIDE BY J. C. ARNOLD here

---

What the Bible Says About Sex!

God wants a sexually pure church and His instructions on sex in the Bible are sanity saving and life-giving. There are twenty articles giving a biblical Christian perspective on topics such as love, singleness, dating, homosexuality, same sex marriages, cloning, forgiveness in marriage, adultery of the heart, infertility, pornography, abortion, sex before marriage, prostitution, sexually transmitted disease, marrying an unbeliever and masturbation.

The articles are concise solid bible teaching that I hope will help you find your way through the sexual maze. The approach is simply “what the Scriptures say about X” in a fairly plain fashion. There is a certain lack of illustration or stories and its pretty much a “just the facts ” approach. By the end of each article you should have a clear idea of what the Bible says and what God’s will is for Christian sexuality.

What the Bible says about Sex

Download This Free e-Book – What the Bible says about Sex here

Section 1 – The Basics
This section covers the following basic topics:
1. Love – The Greatest Thing
2. Your Body Is A Temple Of The Holy Spirit
3. The Christian’s Struggle With Sin

Section 2 -Singleness & Romance
This section covers the following basic topics:
1. How to be a Truly Christian Single
2. Finding A Godly Husband Or Wife
3. Why You Should Not Marry An Unbeliever
4. Romance – a Christian View
5. Sex Before Marriage, Prostitution and STD’s

6. Masturbation

Section 3 – Cloning And Abortion
This section covers the following issues:
1. Cloning: Has Science Gone to Far?
2. When Does Life Begin?
3. Six Answers As to Why Abortion is Nearly Always Wrong.

Section 4 – Problems Within Marriage
This section covers the following issues:
1. Adultery of the Heart
2. Married People Must Learn To Forgive
3. Infertility – Couples who Can’t Have Children

Section 5 – Controversial Issues:
This section covers the following issues:
1. What the Scriptures say on Homosexuality
2. Biblical Response to Same – Sex Marriages
3. Pornography – Why Christians Should take a Stand
4. Sex in Advertising

Download This Free e-Book – What the Bible says about Sex here

---

Declare A Thing A Radical Love Affair – 28 Day Marital Prayer Devotional here
We dedicate this Marriage Devotional to every woman or man who has stood in the gap for their marriage. This Marriage Devotional is for those that refuse to allow the enemy to swallow up their vows and destroy their covenant.

---

Biblical Pre-Martial Counselling

Introduction

Counseling by itself and by its very nature is a Christian

concept because our Lord Jesus Christ Himself is Counselor,

and so His Word, the Bible, becomes the source of His counsel.

It is imperative that in pre-marital counseling, the human

counselor should look to Him and His Word for instruction.

Why the Need for Pre-marital Counseling

God says, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge”

(Hosea 4:6a). We also have the wise words of Solomon on the

importance of counseling, “Without counsel purposes are

disappointed (or frustrated): but in the multitude of counselors

they are established” (Proverbs 15:22). And yet too often many

couples have entered this sacred institution, marriage, without

due consideration of its seriousness. For it is “not by any to be

entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly,

advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God, duly considering the

causes for which matrimony was ordained.” This is what we hear

declared by the officiating minister whenever we witness a church

wedding.

So, don’t rush headlong into marriage. Consult God and pray

earnestly before making that serious commitment. How true the

saying, “Marry in haste, repent at leisure.”

J Allan Petersen, in his preface to the book Before You Marry, writes:
“No sane person would ever leap blindfolded over an

unknown cliff with nothing but a hope that it would prove to

be a good decision. No wise person would commit himself

to life in a strange land without knowing something about

what to expect and the difficulties he would inevitably face.

No one foolishly commits himself to play a game without

knowledge of the rules that determine its success or

failure.

Yet millions of young men and women take these same

unbelievable risks when it comes to marriage. They feel

their marriage will somehow be happier than most

marriages they have observed. But they have no valid

reason to expect it…”

“It is no surprise then that the highest incidence of divorce is

found in the below-25 age group… Wives under 20 are involved

in almost half of all divorces recorded yearly.” In America it has

been estimated that more than one million marriages end in

divorce every year. What a staggering figure! In our tiny island

republic one out of ten ends in the divorce courts. But this is not

what God intended and ordained it to be. Marriage is a

permanent relationship as attested by the words of our Lord

Jesus,
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put

asunder” (Matthew 19:6b, Mark 10:9). It is also intended to be a

harmonious partnership:
“And they twain shall be one flesh”

(Matthew 19:6a, Mark 10:8a). Furthermore, it is for spiritual

companionship: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed”

(Amos 3:3).

What is Christian Marriage?

It may be defined as the union of one Christian man to one

Christian woman for life. But my favorite definition is this one:

Christian marriage is “a total commitment and a total sharing of

the total person with another person until death.” In a Christian

marriage, “the dependence is mutual, the obligation reciprocal,

and the dependence on God, absolute.” At the heart of marriage

is companionship, communion and consummation. God’s blueprint

for marriage involves Leaving, Cleaving and Becoming One

Flesh. The husband and wife relationship is the closest, the most

intimate of all human relationships for it is likened to the

relationship between Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33).

The Role of the Husband in Marriage

The husband is the head of the wife and the home. This is

the constituted order which God Himself ordained. Here

headship is not in the sense of being “the boss of the show,” nor

does it mean that his is “the master’s voice” in all matters, but in

the sense of being a spiritual leader, directly in responsibility to

God who is your Head. The husband is to show deference to his

wife as the weaker but not an inferior partner. She is her

husband’s equal in the grace or gift of life (I Peter 3:7). The

husband’s role is to provide and protect the family: to give

strength, support, stability and security. Unhappy is the home

where authority and control are assumed by the wife because this

is against God’s injunction. Many are the blessings when God’s

order is obeyed. Billy Sunday once said, “If you want your wife to

be an angel, don’t treat her like the devil.”

The Role of the Wife in Marriage

The wife is the heart of the home. She has a high and holy

calling and that is one of loving submission to her husband as the

Church submits to Christ. The apostle Paul declares, “Therefore

as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be unto their

own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians

3:18, I Peter 3:1,2).
“Was there ever a time when the true church felt that it did

not want to be subject to Christ? Was there ever a time

when Christ, the Head of the church, ruled and governed

His flock like a ruthless tyrant? Has there ever been a time

when you, as a Christian, have felt that Christ dealt with

you in a loveless, unjust manner? Has there ever been a

time when in obeying Christ you were made to feel like a

dog obeying his master? Of course, the answer is no. The

whole relationship is one of limitless love and not of tyranny

and domination.” O W Toelke

In the words of A McClaren, “No wife ever had a satisfactorily

wedded life who did not look up to and reverence her husband.”

The Word of God says, “…thy desire shall be to thy husband, and

he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16b). In other words, she is to

be helpful and responsive to every reasonable request of her

husband.

---

Six Vital Secrets for a Happy Marriage

1. Put God first in everything.
The apostle Paul’s counsel

is,
“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all

to the glory of God” (I Corinthians 10:31). See also Matthew

6:33.

2. Seek reconciliation at once.
Remember love will not

prevent misunderstandings or quarrels. Because we are human,

seldom is husband or wife completely right or completely wrong.

Any misunderstandings or quarrels should be settled immediately,

on the same day they occur before going to bed at night.
“…let

not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).
Be

humble enough to say, “I was wrong” followed closely by “I am

sorry.” James says,
“Confess your faults one to another, and

pray one for another” (James 5:16). A successful marriage

requires two sincere forgivers who can accept and forgive as God

accepts and forgives us.

3. Be steadfast in love.
It is said that a successful marriage

requires “falling in love many times BUT ALWAYS WITH THE

SAME PERSON.” The husband should love his wife with the

same selfless and sacrificial love that Christ has so demonstrated

on the Cross for His Church. The wife is to respond in the same

manner. It is said that marriage is a two-way street of

consideration and cooperation. It is founded upon kindness,

selfless devotion and consideration. Great happiness is made up

of little kindnesses. Lack of consideration and appreciation is a

great divisive factor in marriage. “Nag people and they sag;

believe in people and they bloom.” Another good reminder which

I find very appropriate is from a poem from Margaret Sangster

which runs like this:
We have careful thought for the stranger,

But oft for our own,

The bitter tone,

Though we love our own the best.

4. Preserve the bond of marriage.
Preserve this unity at all costs. It is the gracious design of the Architect of marriage that

the married couple remain faithful to each other and to God

whatever the circumstances.
“And they twain shall be one flesh:

so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore

God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mark 10:8,9).

5. Keep private matters private.
The wedded couple

should endeavor to keep certain matters to themselves and

within the confines of their newly established home, “a sacred

citadel of exclusiveness where no prying eyes or gossiping

tongues are permitted.
” Even the Lord our God keeps His own

secrets, but what He has revealed concerns us and our posterity

(Deuteronomy 29:29).

6. Establish a mutual trust in money matters.
Always

keep in mind that whatever you possess comes from the loving

hand of God. You are merely stewards entrusted with whatever

God is pleased to bestow upon you.
“But thou shalt remember

the Lord thy God: for it is he that give th thee power to get wealth”

(Deuteronomy 8:18a).

O W Toelke has some pertinent points

pertaining to the management of family finances:
Most frequently difficulties arise in the family finances when

there is too great a disparity in the financial backgrounds of

the marriage partners. Two people, even husband and

wife, with different sets of financial values, and different

attitudes toward money, can very readily disagree on how

money is to be used. What one regards as a luxury, the

other may consider a necessity. In order to avoid difficulties in the administration of the

family funds, some very basic concepts should be resolved

upon at the very beginning of the marriage.

Whether you are going to pool your resources in a joint bank

account or keep a separate account, you know best and you need

to come to an agreement from the outset. From my own

experience, it is good to have a certain amount that one can use

freely as one sees fit.

---

What is Dating?

The concept of dating varies from culture to culture. Dating

may be defined as “a special kind of friendship between two

people of the opposite sex that may lead to courtship, love and

marriage.”

For young people who are still schooling or under training,

they do not generally date acquaintances. How then would young

people get to know one another? It is through group dating.

Group dating is one in which a small group of those closer to you

is chosen from among a large group of common friends. Group

dating provides you with opportunities to learn about one another

through communication both verbal and non-verbal.

It is through

group dating that you learn to cultivate manners and learn how to

give and take, how to conduct yourself in company and to enjoy

the company of the opposite sex without being too involved

emotionally with one person. Hence group dating offers you

opportunities to grow socially in the right way. Many social

activities can be arranged such as picnics, fishing, concert going,

eating, attending fellowship meetings, etc.

Many a boy-girl relationship instead of being “just be friends”

relationship prematurely becomes a single dating relationship,

that is, they become lovers before becoming friends. This is

infatuation and not true love.

---

Difference Between Infatuation and True Love

Infatuation is likened to a passing cloud, now here, gone

later. Many people can be infatuated with more than one person

at the same time: And it is characteristic of teenagers. It is based

mainly on physical appearance. It is like the “real thing” to you

when you are in it. However, when an infatuated person

discovers more of the other party, the feelings often disappear as

fast as they appeared. Many are turned off and scared away

when the other party responds. It is love of emotion. It is “being

carried away by unreasoning passion or attraction” (Webster).

Love, on the other hand, is different. When a person is in love, he

learns to accept and love the other person more as time goes by.

Love lasts and progresses gradually and deeply; and there is

understanding and acceptance.

Time brings two people in love closer together, rather than

separates them as in the case of infatuation: out of sight, out of

mind. A person in love is not bound by chains of anxiety or

jealousy. The other party is free to be herself or himself. This

does not happen to an infatuated person. True love is giving, not

taking. Infatuation is a selfish and possessive emotion. This love

of emotion can cause you to be infatuated with someone, for

example, a Hollywood film star you don’t even know, and have

never met. Genuine love is “a growing experience, based on

mutually shared interests, beliefs, attitudes and goals.”

---

When are you Old Enough to Date and How?

This varies from individual to individual. Some manifest

maturity and responsibility earlier than others of the same age.

Readiness for dating therefore does not depend solely on

chronological age but rather on one’s values, one’s maturity, and

one’s understanding of the main purpose of dating which is to

develop close friendship. It is not to practice your sex technique

and petting skills. Keep yourself pure by taking heed to God’s

Word:

1. Be sure to walk in God’s appointed way.
“My son,

forget not my law: but let thine heart keep my commandments:

For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to

thee. Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy

neck; write them upon the table of thine heart: so shalt thou find

favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man”

(Proverbs 3:1-4).

2. Trust in the Lord, acknowledge Him in all your ways.
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own

understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall

direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord,

and depart from evil” (Proverbs 3:5-7).

3. Listen to parental instruction for your own good.
“My

son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of

thy mother. For they shall be ornament of grace unto thy head,

and chains about thy neck” (Proverbs 1:8-9). Because of their

experience, wisdom and knowledge, God can use parents to

guide their children in their dating relationships. Parents, it must

be realized, do have the benefit of objectivity.

4. Honour and obey your parents.
“Children, obey your

parents in all things: for this is well-pleasing unto the Lord”

(Colossians 3:20).

5. Exercise self-control.
There is a time for everything. To

be self-controlled is to do everything in its proper time. These are

words of wisdom from king Solomon (Ecclesiastes 3:1-4). Self control

is one of the virtues of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Paul’s advice to young Timothy was to “Flee also youthful lusts:

but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace….” (II Timothy

2:22).

6. Don’t be yoked with an unbeliever.
“Be ye not

unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship

hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion

hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with

Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And

what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the

temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them;

and I will be their God, and they shall be my people” (II

Corinthians 6:14-16).

---

How to Stay out of Trouble

Ninety per cent of your temptations on a date will be

overcome if you remember and practice two simple guidelines:

GUYS
a. You will have problems being excited by a look, since

most of your prime temptation will come visually; so guard

your eyes. Keep a “Job’s covenant,” and you will keep the

doorway to your mind and emotions.

b. You will give a girl a problem by touch, so keep your

hands to yourself! If you take care of your eyes and

hands, you will not be burned on a date.

GIRLS
a. You are going to give a guy problems by the way you dress, so watch it! Don’t dress to stir lust in your

boyfriend; dress as if you were going to be ushered into

Heaven right on your date, and Jesus will not be ashamed

of you. Help keep him from temptation by the right clothes

(I Timothy 2:9-10).

b. Keep a “hands off” attitude with your date. It may be

hard to say “No” but you must. No heavy necking or

petting can develop this way. If your boyfriend does’t

understand because he does’t want to understand, repeat

it a couple of times, then use this “emergency” prayer:

Extend your free hand from your shoulder, pull it back

behind you, then offer up a quick petition thusly: “Lord,

give me strength for this task!” Then slap him hard! If he

does’t think your action was very scriptural, show him

Ecclesiastes 9:10 – “Whatsoever thy hand fadeth to do, do

it with all thy might.”

---

A Daily Bible Method Reading of the Bible Done Successfully here
(Bible Reading Methods, Structures of the Bible, Best Translations to Use,Where to Start )

A Daily Morning & Evening Reading Devotional Plan from Jan to Dec here

A Day Study in Stewardship by Tim Keller here

A Help to Domestic Happiness by John Angell James here

Counseling Recipes by Timothy Tow here

Counseling Recipes on Chap 7 on Pre-Marital Counseling by Timothy Tow here

Do All to the Glory of God by Watchman Nee here (Marriage, Mating, Husband & Wife, Parenthood, Friendship, Recreation, Speech, Clothing & Eating, Managing Your Finances etc.)

How to get the Most From Reading Your Bible by Thomas Watson here

The Mutual Duties of Husbands & Wives Towards Each Other by Richard Baxter here

The Widow Directed to the Widow’s God by John Angell James here

The Young Man Leaving Home by John Angell James here

Home All Library Resources Free Downloads

The scriptures are perfect, but men are fallible. I prayerfully check all of the material I put on my sites. However, I am quite capable of missing something or making a mistake. If you find anything at all on these pages that is questionable or find any links broken please contact us here.